You Are Good Enough

YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH!

So you don’t think you are good enough!  Maybe it has been ingrained into you that you will never amount to anything.  Perhaps you were in foster care all your young years and have moved from one family to another feeling that there is no place for you.  Or, you may feel rejected by your own family.  Perhaps you have found out you were adopted and have feelings of rejection by your biological mother/father.  It could be, also like me, you have been put forward for a vocation and have been refused. What do you feel good enough for?

Who has the right to say if you are good enough for anything?  I mean, if you want to compete in the Olympics you have to train and eventually you might be chosen.  I get that. There are many, many people walking on this earth who think they are worthless.  They have listened to people telling them they are worthless, they are no good.  When I was growing up I was told by my mother that girls did not go to university because they were expected to get married and bring up children.  This resulted in my sister eventually attending University in her 40’s.  I did all of my training for management, counselling etc through my workplace.  Everything I gained happened because my workplaces sent me to courses over the years.  My workplaces thought I was worth investing in even if my parents didn’t. I don’t care how old you are because this still happens today to many, many people regardless of age.  You might have been told you have the wrong colour of skin, you are too fat or you are too thin and whatever you have been told has somehow buried itself deep down in your mind.  You are believing a lie straight from the pit of hell!

I have good news for you. If you decided to believe in God and accepted Jesus as your Saviour you are half way there.  If you think you are not good enough then NOW is the time to accept him.  You will never reach point in your life  that makes you ‘ready’ for Jesus.  You are believing wrongly.  Jesus is the one who makes right all of our wrongs.  We have to let him in to our lives do that.  He will do a better job of it than any psychiatrist or psychologist can. What you are failing to recognise, if you think that you have to make yourself ready or fit for Jesus, is that he already knows you inside out.  He sees your issues, he sees what has happened as a result of being treated badly and he is waiting for you to ask him to help you.  

Once we start believing in Jesus we will want to start reading his word - the Holy Bible.  

In Romans 12 verse 2 is tells us this: 2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.  (emphasis mine).  We can renew our mind through studying the word of God.  It is best to do it with someone so that you can check your thinking and understanding.  

You are more than good enough.  You were formed in your mother’s womb this way:  Your father’s seed met your mothers egg and God then intervened and created you to who he wanted.  

JOB 33 VERSE 4 puts it this way:   4 The Spirit of God hath made me, and the breath of the Almighty hath given me life.    

In Psalm 119 verse 73 we read:   73  Thy hands have made me and fashioned me: give me understanding, that I may learn thy commandments.   There are other scriptures referring to where we come from, but these two will be fine for now.  If the Spirit of God has made YOU, and the breath of the Almighty has given YOU LIFE - who are you to argue about what you are worth?  Who am I to argue about what I am worth?  God was there when you were knit together in your mother’s womb   ——-  

PSALM 139 VERSE 13:

New International Version

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.

New Living Translation

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb.

English Standard Version

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.

New King James Version

For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb.

King James Bible

For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb.

Yes, I may be labouring the point, but I want you to know where you truly came from.  God uses people to procreate and He is there at that moment of conception and gives you everything you will ever need.  When you begin to understand this - no matter what age you are - you will want to live for him.  If no-one else wanted me - God did!  

Personal Testimony

I was brought up in a mainly loving household as long as my father was there.  When he was away (he was in the Armed Forces) my mother would get violent - especially with me.  She tried to strangle me once.  I was a child with eczema all over my body and all that went with that.  I was difficult for her to deal with and I was the youngest of the family.  She beat me with a washing stick more than once.  She could be very cruel and I was always made to feel I was nothing.  She wanted a boy when I was born - and I know many people can relate to that, so although she did not reject me outright, she certainly brought me up in a state of continual fear, and I began to believe I was never going to be good enough for her.  I was continually compared with my other sisters with my mother saying - Why can’t you be like them?  Of course I could not answer her - I was a child.  When I was pregnant with my firstborn she chased me with a knitting needle to remove the baby.  I had to lock myself in the bathroom until my father came home that night.   You may now be getting the picture of a very unhappy childhood, but I have something to tell you.  When I was about 6 my Sunday School teacher told me Jesus loved me and would never leave me nor forsake me.  Through the rest of my life I clung onto that. Even when I went my own way - he never left me.  I may not have been able to physically see him, but I knew he was with me all the time - I cannot explain it, but I knew it in my heart.  I accepted Jesus at that time in my life and clung onto his promises.  I did not just believe IN him, I BELIEVED HIM. There is a subtle difference in that statement.  God back and read it again.  

I do not believe I would be alive today if I had not believed my Sunday School Teacher.  There will be other testimonies along the way, but I am sharing my life with you to let you know that we can overcome anything if we let God into our lives.  When my mother would say I was stupid or couldn’t do something right - in my head and heart I knew that Jesus was telling me I was not stupid and that if I let him help me I could do anything in the right way.  I am left handed, so when my mother tried to teach me knitting and sewing I didn’t work as I did everything backwards.  So she assumed I was backwards in my intellect too. Yet I could play the piano, violin and other instruments exceedingly well. I used reading and music to escape from the situation at home, and bring pleasure to others.  I shared my talents even as a child and was accepted by those who appreciated my musical ability.   

You have gifts and talents that are hidden deep down in your very being which God is wanting you to bring to the surface and use.  

He made you for his pleasure and wants you to enjoy every day of your life.  PSALM 149 verse 4 : 4 For the LORD taketh pleasure in his people: he will beautify the meek with salvation.  You are so precious to God - I don’t have enough words to tell you how much he loves you. The only thing that God cannot do is stop loving you. Here it is in capitals:  THE ONLY THING THAT GOD CANNOT DO IS STOP LOVING YOU!!

Do not spend one more day thinking that you are worthless or useless.  When someone says negative things to you about you and you believe in God I have to perfect answer for you.  

Here is a scenario:

Person:  You are useless and a waste of space.

You:  I agree with you in human terms but I am worth Jesus dying for me so your words are of no account in my life anymore. 

Person:  You will never be able to do that correctly.

You:  If it was down to just me I would agree with you - however God gives me the ability to learn so I wold rather believe him than you.

Are you getting the picture yet.  You are worthy, you are full of gifts and talents God has given you to use for his pleasure - go and experiment and find out what they are.  You could be the next Michael Angelo - or the next Award winning musician.  You could be the next successful author.  You could be the next word renowned explorer.  The choices are limitless - you just have to try them out and see what gifts God has given you.  Be adventurous. You already have it in you - it is just a case of believing that God has told you the truth and that those who speak negatively to you are lying.  When people say hurtful things to us it tells me that they are also hurting and taking it out on us.  Pray for them.  Forgive them - we will come to that another time. Forgiving them releases you from their hold over you.  You are the apple of God's eye!!  Just decide today that God in you is greater than he who is in the world.  Regardless of your feelings -which can change in an instance - God loves you and has made you worthy and MORE THAN GOOD ENOUGH through the sacrifice of his Son Jesus- your Saviour. 

Until next time.  God bless and keep you xxx.

You Are Loved.

Today I want to look at what you think about God.  Why do you think about God the way you do?  Many people think of God as an Old Testament angry God who is just waiting to punish them for anything they do.  Some people think God is keeping a tab on their good things and bad things and will weigh them up against each other before he makes a decision about them, whether they are acceptable to him or not.  Do you think of God being like that?  Is he an old man with a white beard permanently angry? Do you think God has forgotten you?  You could not be further from the truth if that is what you are thinking.  I was taught that when I gave my heart to God (got saved) I then had to work at keeping myself pure for him.  Did you have to do that too?  When I got something wrong or did something wrong I was made to feel that I had let God down.  I then had to try extra hard to please him to get back into his good books again (so to speak). Does this sound familiar to you?  God did not create you to beat you up - he is not a man nor is he a woman.  God is beyond our human comprehension yet he is real and we are not beyond his comprehension because he made each one of us.  

There is a scripture in the bible that defines God exactly: 1 JOHN 4 VERSES 7 & 8: 7 Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. 8 He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.  You see it does not say God is like love. Nor does it say God is lovely.  When you look at a pot roast you say - that is a pot roast, right?  Well, God is love, and when you look at him you see love. That is how it is supposed to be.  Now, take into consideration our humanness - the word love is taken to mean sex as in let’s make love!  Or, you could say you love those flowers, you love your pet, you love your children but each time it means something different.  If you love those flowers, you know if they are in a vase they are dying and you will throw them out eventually.  So the love is fleeting. How we use the word love is not how God intended us to use it.  God IS love. I cannot explain this but I know it to be true. God is not angry - he is love. We are encouraged to love one another because love is of God, and everyone who lies is born of God, and knows God.  If you do not love then you do not know God.  His love is pure like the refiners fire refining the silver or gold, burning all the rubbish out of our hearts and making us pure just like him. 

As you think about how you have been rejected or hurt and the situation you have come out of, please know that God is still loving you.  If you cannot feel it or know it then it is because you have turned away from him.  Please consider turning back to him.  He is desperate to have a relationship with you again, or even for the first time.  What are your thoughts about God now?  He created the universe, the world and everything in the world before he created mankind.  Have you ever wondered why?  He prepared the whole universe, the whole world for mankind to be able to live on it.  We were given our very own world to live in and on.  He wanted us to have everything we would ever need.  

Because he is love and  he loves us totally and unconditionally he provided everything for us that we would ever need.  From the oxygen we breathe, the plants that generate oxygen, the food we eat, the sun, the moon and the stars - everything - just for us.  When a family are expecting the arrival of a new born baby, they prepare the room for it, the cot, and the clothes.  They make sure everything is safe, ready and comfortable for it’s arrival.  That is how God looks at mankind.  When he decided there would be mankind he prepared the world, made it safe, ready and comfortable for us. The difference between bringing home a new born baby and what God did was this:  a new born baby does not have the capacity to make decisions or talk or walk, so the parents have to do everything for it to help it grow.  God made mankind as adults so he could converse with them, they could enjoy each other and his company.  They could already walk and make decisions.  To that end he gave them free will to choose.  This is the thing, the one thing that makes us different from animals, from babies, from birds and fish.  We can choose, which means we can reason, we can discuss and we can make up our own minds.  

When you decide or choose to follow Jesus it all depends on who is leading you and teaching you as to whether you are able succeed in your walk with Jesus. Here are some things I have learned over the years.

Alarms should go off inside of you if any of the following happen:

When we are told we have now got to do this or that to stay in God’s good books!

If we cannot ask questions on the sermon or the scriptures!

If we are forced to give being told something bad is going to happen if we don’t obey.

If we are told we have to submit to the pastor and not question him or her.

When we are told we will lose out salvation if ——— you fill in the blanks. 

When we are told that our sin is too bad for God to forgive.

When we are excluded from church without explanation or the opportunity to discuss whatever happened. 

These are only a few things.  

I am not saying you have done anything wrong, but even if you have, God has already forgiven you in Jesus when he was crucified.  You do not have to do penance or pay money or crawl on the floor.  You do not have to be punished by the church, the leaders or pastor. When we do something that we think might be wrong we can turn to God and apologise.  We can confess to him what we have done, we can say thank you for your forgiveness that you have already provided.  Then you can ask him to help you live as he wants you to because you realise you need him.   

Personal testimony

I have been married three times.  I have likened myself to the woman at the well who had 5 husbands and the one she was living with when Jesus met her was not her husband.  My first marriage produced by two sons, but I had a mental breakdown and my actions ruined the marriage.  I sabotaged it because I irrationally thought my husband would not want me any more.  We divorced.  My second husband had a secret life I knew nothing about until after we were married so I looked else where and committed adultery.  Because of the children from my first marriage I threw my second husband out as he was not willing to change his ways.  All of these things affected my health and my mental well-being. I make no apology for my testimony because it has been a learning field for me.  My third marriage was the one I thought would last until death would cause us to part.  My husband decided he wanted his freedom after 32 years together. I was disabled and he had an affair and said he wanted his freedom.  My walk with God was tested tremendously in the last few years we were together.  After much prayer, God made it clear to me that I couldn’t be reconciled to my husband if he did not want to be reconciled to me.  I asked him what he wanted and he said he wanted his freedom - I gave him what he wanted.  God was with me all through those years and was protecting me and keeping me safe.  My sons are good men, and they each have two sons. Have learned that God has to be first in everything because when he is first everything world together for my good. I could have become bitter and angry with my husband, but I forgave him almost as soon as he asked for his freedom.  I did this because I knew I would not be able to live inner, frustration and bitterness.  It freed me from those things.  I never said I did not love my husband - I probably still do.  I gave him what he wanted at the expense of our 32 years together.  I see him often when he brings our dog to visit.  There is no hatred, no animosity, no fear, no negativity towards him at all.  Since our divorce I have studied marriage, God’s way of marriage and can see where I have not treated my husband as I should have, as well as seen how he had not treated me as I should have been.  A break-up is never one-sided.  I was as much to blame as he was.   I took that to God and confessed that I had not been a particularly Godly wife and thanked him for his forgiveness. 

I shared that short testimony with you to show you that I are had my ups and downs in life, but all the way through it God protected me, even when I was the one who did wrong.  

 People rejected me.  People scorned me and spoke about me in bad ways.  People whispered in church and made me feel very unwelcome. People avoided me.  People were unkind to me. But - The point is this :  God never rejected me, no matter what I did.  When I turned around he was there waiting for me, and I ran to him and he accepted me.  He wiped away the tears, he showed me his compassion and provision.  He truly is love.  I cannot describe him as anything else.  God is love.  

I am living proof of that.

As these conversations go on, I will share other parts of my personal testimony, in the hope that you will see that whatever it is you think you have done it is not going to change Gods heart towards you.  He still loves you.  This is all about relationship with God.  God and you - you and God and nothing else.  Come back to God and talk to me.

Father God I pray that whoever reads these blogs will turn to you and be healed from all that has hurt them.  I pray for reconciliation between God and the person reading these words.  I pray this in the name of Jesus Christ, your only begotten Son.  Amen.

Introduction

Jeremiah chapter 23

24 Can any hide himself in secret places that I shall not see him? saith the Lord. Do not I fill heaven and earth? saith the Lord?

Broken Hearted.

This is just an introduction which I hope will be the beginning of a conversation.  This blog is hopefully going to be interactive. I am hoping that you, the reader, will respond. Many people have stepped away from God.  Many blame him for something that happened in their lives.  Others have been hurt by church rules, church people and leaders. They have become broken hearted. The reason for this blog is to help those people, and people who may be interested in God but are afraid, to come forward and have a dialogue with me.  No judgement, just acceptance and discussion.   Are you trying to hide from God?  Do you blame his for something that happened in your life.  Read the scripture above.   

We are going to start with Worship :

Please remember that I hope that these blogs will become a healing journey for you.  Please know that Christ is your Peace, he is your salvation.  Don't keep running away, instead come running to him.

Whatever you are telling yourself about God - the truth is he is all around us.  What I have found over the years is that it is people who have driven other people, maybe you, from church.  You may think you have sinned once too many times and cannot believe that God still loves you, which he does.  You may have been horribly hurt by someone, or some church, or some group - but please remember that when people hurt you it is not your fault.  

Hurting people hurt people.  You may have done something against church rules, but remember those rules are man made.  God forgives everything, he sees everything.  He loves everyone.  He does not want you without him.  He has a plan for your life.  It is never too late to come to him, it is never too late to return to him.  Usually people who are themselves hurting tend to hurt others either by their words, actions or both. 

I am not asking you to come back to church, no, I am asking you to open a conversation with me about your experience. I am asking you not to walk away from God permanently.  You cannot put God into a you-sized compartment in your life.  You are a you-sized person in his life, because he made you to be his.  I am asking you to consider where God is in your life - not where you think he is, but where he actually is.

When people are hurt by other christians or the church these are some of what happens to them:

They feel unwanted.
They feel misunderstood.
They think they are the blame fo whatever happened.
They begin to isolate themselves from the people they fellowshipped with.
They will avoid people they used to have fellowship with.
Eventually they move into new circles of friendships, usually not church.

Also what happened can cause the following:

They blame God.
They feel angry.
They can no longer enjoy silence.
They need to busy themselves.
They don't want to talk about things. 
They feel they have been judged.
They think they have been accused of something.

Notice how I have used the words 'they feel' quite often.  When someone upsets us we feel something don't we?  We can feel angry, sad, bereft, scared, embarrassed and we can lose confidence is what we thought we knew. You can end up thinking you are not worthy and that God is an angry God all the time.  You can also end up categorising all christians into the same box - which is not right to do.  When we are away from God we tell ourselves things like - He won't want anything to do with me because of what I did, said or didn't do.   I am here to tell you that you are worthy to be loved because he made you his child. 

I know about this because I was hurt by church too.  So please don't think I am just preaching to you, I am actually talking from personal experience. 

What I would like you to do is comment under where I post this blog, or email me.  I am on Messenger, Facebook and Twitter. I am sure if you look for me you will find me.  

When we do things that seem 'not right' to other christians and they retaliate in some way we must understand that they are probably feeling insecure and are governed by their churches guidelines.  

Here is what Jesus says:  Luke 9 verses 49 & 50:  49 And John answered and said, Master, we saw one casting out devils in thy name; and we forbad him, because he followeth not with us.  50 And Jesus said unto him, Forbid him not: for he that is not against us is for us.  You see here that John said he the other disciples saw someone casting out devils in Jesus's name; and they stopped him, in fact they forbad him, because he was not a follower of Jesus.  Well, Jesus answered him saying:  Do not forbid him, for he who is not against us is for us.  Just because someone does something differently in church it does not mean it is being done wrongly or out of turn, Jesus understood the heart of the person casting out the demons, and he also knew that no-one could use his name in unbelief.  So the person using Jesus's name believed but just did not follow the Jesus and the group.  

I have fellowship at home, and Jesus is right there in the middle of it all.  He knows my every thought, good and bad, and yet he chooses to love me anyway.  When we are in a church that is governed by man's traditions or laws it is a recipe for disaster. When people who love Jesus get together for the sole purpose of getting closer to God, in one mind there is growth.  Some people like guidelines whilst other find them constraining. We know that God has order to everything, and it is his ways that are to be obeyed.  We have guidelines in the word of God, but we cannot pick and choose which ones we will adhere to and which ones will not matter.  They all matter. God did not give us the Word of God to ignore.  He gave us his Word to help us. 

No matter how you feel, God still loves you and HE HAS A PLAN FOR YOU!  You see, it does not matter what you have or have not done. God had a plan for you from when you were formed in your mother's womb, and that plan will stand until the day you leave this earth.  It is up to you to continue your relationship with God and you will then understand what that plan looks like for you.  You are never too far away for God to reach down and pick you up.  He is still walking alongside you even if you are ignoring him, even if you are denying him and he will carry on walking alongside you until the day you die.  Don't walk in silence, speak to him. Shout at him if you want.  He can take it. He knows what you are going through and all he is doing is waiting for you to take a step toward him.  

I know that I did wrong things, many wrong things at times in my life.  I blamed others for my behaviour. I drank too much, had too many romantic relationships that were disasters.  In the end it is my behaviour - not anyone else's, so it was up to me to turn back to God and tell him I am nothing without him and I can do nothing worth anything on my own.  It all goes wrong.  I cannot live like this anymore.  I have said to him these things and much more.  I asked him why he did not intervene in my troubles.  It was not because he did not want to, I just didn't ask him for his help.  You see whatever we are going through it is up to us to take that first step and ask for help.  Not tell him what help you think you need. God is a gentle God and gives us free will to choose how we live for ourselves. I demanded that he dealt with the situation, but I did not ask for his help. That was ME trying to control God.     Is that that is you being in control?  No, asking him for the help he knows I need is what he is waiting for. When I ask he knows that I am willing for him to guide me through whatever it is.  

I am going to give you links to teachings, which you can watch at your leisure. They are about hurt families, and I make no excuse for that as we are all in God's family.  Here is the first one with Pastor Jimmy Evans:

Please, please watch this teaching as it will help you.


This one is from Pastor Robert Morris

I am hoping and praying that you will contact me, with a view to having healing conversations.  We all need God's peace in our lives and I know when you are hurting there is no peace in your life. 

Let us end with worship:

Until next time, God bless and keep you. xxx

You can contact me via messenger, Facebook (Anne Sutherland), and email.