HAS SOMEONE OFFENDED YOU?
I thought today we could talk about what happens when someone offends you. Sometimes we say we have been hurt by someone when we have actually taken offence at something they have said or something they have done. What are your thoughts on this? When I have spoken to some people who no longer go to church and ask them why, their response typically goes like this:
The pastor ignored me.
I waved at someone and they ignored me.
Someone sat in my seat and would not move.
I overheard someone talking about me.
I did not like how the music sounded so I complained - they did not change it, so I left.
People were gossiping and I felt sorry for the person they were talking about.
I was not allowed to be in the leadership team.
The pastor preached stuff I did not like.
The pastor told me I had to tithe.
{ I will use Strong’s Corcordance for definitions, which will give clarity on some words used. The transliteration will be in (brackets) and the pronunciation will be in [brackets].} I will also be providing links for you which when opened will bring you to good teachings about offence.
Does any of the above sound familiar? Have you ever said any of the above? Have you seemingly caught the eye of someone in the distance and it looked as though they were looking right at you and you waved at them and they did not respond? It has happened to me more than once. You see, in that instance the person seemed to be looking at me but was actually looking at someone in front of me. I did not bother when they did not respond to my wave because I knew them well enough to know they would never intentionally ignore me. Later, I managed to catch up with them and asked them: Did you see me waving back at you? The person responded saying: I didn’t wave at you. They they said - Oh, I was looking at so and so and I have to admit I did not see you. I said that was okay and that I understood.
Okay; now let us see what could have happened with the same scenario.
I see someone who looked as though they were looking at me and I waved . When I caught up with them I asked them why they did not wave back at me as they had been staring at me. They said they had no idea what I was talking about and that they had not seen me. Well, that made me angry because I KNEW they had been looking right at me, so I stomped away furious. You see here that I did not give the other person a chance to explain that they were looking at someone directly in front of me. So now I go off and tell someone that this person is ignorant and lies. They then go off to their friends and do the same. Suddenly this person is being shunned or ignored by those they thought were their friends. Same scenario - irrational response. Now I harbour anger at that person and it grows inside of me. Perhaps I stop going to that church so I don’t have to see them anymore. This is what satan wants to do - cause division, eat away at us until we no longer are part of the church. This series is one of a few good series about offence.
I hope you understand that this is how we become offended or take offence at other people. How we respond, especially when we have not asked for an explanation but just assumed, will determine how we end up behaving. Rationally or irrationally. You cannot make decisions about anything without being informed - well, you should not more than you cannot. The thing is we all do it from time to time but it should not take hold of our lives to the point of becoming angry and bitter all the time. When we walk out of a church it is usually because we have been upset by someone or we did not like the music or teaching. None of those are valid reasons to leave the church.
Let us look at another scenario. A church goer has an affair - so people treat them as though they have the plague and eventually things become so unbearable they leave. You will hear people say - we don’t want people ‘like that’ in God’s house. Or, they will be rude to the persons’ families. You see sometimes people go off the rails and do a piece of stupid, like have an affair. Marriage is sacred and should not be violated, I agree. However, Jesus spoke to the woman at the well who had had five husbands and the one she was with was not her husband. He forgave her and told her all about her life. She became an evangelist and told the whole of the town where she came from. When someone repents or turns away and changes their behaviour from something they have been doing that is wrong and emotionally/spiritually damaging they need to be accepted.
Who or what in church has caused you pain, offence or embarrassment? Whoever it is and whatever it is does not matter - it is YOU who has TAKEN offence. This an active word - one that says you have done something. You have not received offence but stretched out your hand and taken it. Why? Why do we do this? Could it be that we are proud or prejudiced? Could it be that we think more highly of ourselves than we should? When satan dangles temptation before us he whispers in our hearts things like “they did that on purpose” ‘they don’t like you’ they are slandering you’ and before you know it you are believing what you are hearing and then acting on it. When you see someone look at you in an odd way (sometimes we say that they gave us a funny look, but we are not talking about humour), we then take it that they are sneering at us and we react likewise. It is satan who offers us the offence and it is up to us to take it or not. Here is another series on offence.
Let’s look and see what it says in the bible:
Sometimes people are offended at the truth.
MATTHEW 18 VERSES 1 - 7: 1 At the same time came the disciples unto Jesus, saying, Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven? ? the same time (please read the previous chapter to gain context) the disciples came to Jesus saying: Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven? 2 And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them, 3 And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. And Jesus called a LITTLE CHILD to come to him and set the child in the middle of them all, and He said:
Strong's Index: G281
VERILY, ἀμήν (amen) [am-ane’]
Strong's Definition
of Hebrew origin (543); properly, firm, i.e. (figuratively) trustworthy; adverbially, surely (often as interjection, so be it):--amen, verily.
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I tell you, Unless you are
Strong's Index: G4762
converted στρέφω (strepho) [stref’-o]
Strong's Definition
strengthened from the base of 5157; to twist, i.e. turn quite around or reverse (literally or figuratively):--convert, turn (again, back again, self, self about).
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and become as little children, you will not enter into the kingdom of heaven. In other words, it is not saying be childish BUT be child like (innocent) and then you will be able to enter the kingdom of heaven.
4 Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever therefore will humble himself as this little child, that person is greatest n the kingdom of heaven. 5 And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me. And whoever receives one little child like this in my name receives me. So, even though you are a full grown adult it is time to become child-like. Remember I am not speaking about being childish - that is being petty and demanding. Being child-like means trusting, having no fear, being humble enough to trust and believe God. Being playful, laughing and enjoying your life. Being care-free. Child-like is a good place to be. It is a good attitude to have where God is concerned. Why? Let’s read on. 6 But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea. But, whoever offends one of these little ones which believe in me, it would be better for him that a millstone were hanged around his neck, and that he was drowned in the depth of the sea. You see why now? This is serious business. When you have the right attitude and someone offends you it will not be good for them in the end. 7 Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh! Woe, alas, grief to the world become of offences! For offences will happen, but woe to the man by while the offence comes! In the New Living Translation it say this very this way: What sorrow awaits the world, because it tempts people to sin! Temptations are inevitable, but what sorrow awaits the person who does the tempting! We are to expect people to offend us but we do not have to take the offences - rather we should pray for the people that God will be lenient on them and forgive them - even if they do not apologise.
It seems to me that to avoid the effects of offence the first thing we have to do is be honest with ourselves and admit that we are offended; then immediately forgive the offender even though they are not sorry, don't realise they have offended you, or don't care that they have offended you. It is up to you to free yourself from the offence and the people who have offended you. Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door to peace and allows you to move forward by not taking the offence. Was God offended at you before you knew him? No! He loved you from when you were made in your mothers womb - even when you were living a life opposite to what he wanted for you. He loved you then, he loves you still and he will always love you. If he can forgive you and I for all the things that could have offended him - which Jesus died to pay for - then you and I can forgive others who offend us. Today - begin the forgiveness process and free yourself from offence.
Until next time. God bless and keep you. xxx.
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